Duhh, Me Dem-uh-krat. Me no like site. You bad guys make me sad.
—U.G., Pogwaller, ND

Heheh, another drooling liberal moron speaks out. Everyone knows liberals are stupid retards, and conservatives are intelligent geniuses. This just helps prove it.

Yo man, like, you're totally like not with it, man, y'know? Dudes, don't you know that Bush is like bad n' stuff?
—B.K., Friendly, SC

Thank you for your feedback, Mr. Drug Addicted Scum. We appreciate the diversity of America, which makes it possible for disease-infected drug-addled human waste products like yourself to participate in a process far beyond your limited comprehension. When was the last time you "scored some H" you junkie freak?

As a senior representative in the Democratic Party, I am disgust...
—N.R., Seattle, WA

Since I come this country I have great opportunity to work hard and I have now great wealth, and all because of hard work that I do. This is why I support W, because like me he came to this country with nothing, but rose up by his boot strops to become the president.
—Vladimir O., President
V.O. Specialty Agricultural Products
Columbia, Thailand, Afghanistan

Duhh, Me Ra-Pub-La-Kin. Me like good site. You good guys make me laff.
—U.G., Pogwaller, ND

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Your lotion is simply the best! Just the other day, a buddy of mine was interrogating one of these terrorist scumbags here at Guantanamo, and accidentally got his PR-24 stuck in the guy's rectum. Everyone was laughing so hard, but later I pulled my buddy aside and told him that next time he should apply a little W Lotion to the tip before questioning. What a difference it made! Now, my buddy's number one on the no-recant list! Thanks, W Lotion!
—X, Guantanamo, Cuba